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I din name this entry cos i really dunno wat 2 write. veri vexed with matters of the heart. Everyday keep telling myself i can do it, but e thing is, can i? sure work is fine so far, but e future is of uncertainty.

Today i did something that i realli tink is foolish. I told some1 i have feeling for her though i almost know e ans b4 that. end up maybe i realli everyone gd fren. i admit she make up the bottom of my heart right at tis moment. but the thing bout me is, i cant express or gif some1 e feeling of being in love or whatsoever. I realli dunno why, 4 so many years, i nv been able 2 truly express the real me. n im begin 2 lose e real me after so many yrs of disguising myself. sure i made ppl happy, 4 mayb tts wat i do best, n mayb tats e only thing im capable of. Im not sure why either, i can console or talk any1 out of their emo state, but when it comes 2 myself, im helpless.

i feel like an empty shell, with the layer of disguise thickening ard me. Im such a gd fren tat i don't even have e courage 2 show love, even 2 e person who took my heart. Am i not supposed 2 b focus in matter of the heart? I been running away from failure in the past, always wont be able 2 make it to the finishing line, but this i told myself i must change, I muz stick 2 what i believe in, someone who i truly like, nv 2 give up after a failure. I dun wanna 2 be the same failure who hav lasted all these years. Sometime i wish im not me, i wish im not so gd at acting fine, not so gd at deceiving others that im fine.

and anyway, if u r so happen 2 b readin, i just wan 2 let u noe, i mean every word that i said today.



~坚 持 到 底 ， 就 是 胜 利~