Time to let go and move on

Lately i really been very heavy hearted. actually saw her and her new boyfriend photo. Which reminds me that maybe i should finally let go of everything le. Every possession i have that reminds me of her, i should just let go le. even though now i really wanna find someone 2 talk 2, but its 4am le. Suan le, i already used 2 forcing myself 2 slp even when my heart really aching.

Its like a secret been kept too long, so long im no longer to let it all out anymore. i deleted her contacts from all source like facebook n hp... Maybe this is whats best for us ba. since she have finally completely move on le, why should i still be holding on. Its been 1 and a half year le, high time for me to look forward le. maybe she wasnt whats best for me after all. I must be brave at this moment, even if i gonna shed any more tears, it will be tears of courage, the determination to move out of this turmoil. sometime i really do hate the way god created me, why cant i be more carefree and let bygone be bygone more easily.

Took everything from the memory box and slowly dispose isnt as easy as i have thot, in fact i did it in a very heavy hearted mood. Every pieces of letters teared is like every night of sadness i have experience all this while, but still i believe this is the best way and the only way if i wanna to really start to recover. Na de qi, jiu yao fang de xia, if i cant even do such a simple thing, i really will be letting my late dad down. Im proud to be your son, for i will be much stronger in the days to come.

Still i must also thank all my friends and buddies for accompanying me all the way along this road of recovery, i noe i have not made much progress, but i assure u guys that i will finally learn to let it all go. For i noe the old louis definitely wont be so weak de. As im writing this entry, im actually slowly tearing pieces of the letters we used to share and dispose them.

School is starting next mon le, and i m really veri looking forward to it, the feeling is like a convict who just gotten out of jail, tat starting-over-a-new-leaf feeling. Somehow after i dispose alot of stuffs of the sad past, my heart got lighter, and i become more brave, I mean i been so moody for the longest of time, even JD call me the most emo guy she ever met. Well JD im gonna throw tat title away le, and realli thank u for the lucky charm u gave me, somehow it instill some new belief in me.

Actually i should be happy today, finally gotta 2 know i made some progression at work le, finally gonna take over my respective unit tml nite shift le, Louis time to be a thinking technician le!!! lol

I tink there are really too many ppl for me thank at 1 shot, but i decided to thank them personally when i gotta meet them. With u guys behind me, im sure i be able to get pass the worse storm de. And oso not to forget bout my family, my mum has always been the most supportive person in my life, she may not be the bet advisor, but shes the best listener (and the best talker). My second bro don mite look veri cold on the exterior, but i know inside hes a veri caring person for the family, but he too got his own problem to overcome too. As for my little bro ben, well just by lookin at him grow up makes my day, dun be deceive by his look, hes prob the strongest in the family, imagine losing ur beloved dad at 5yrs old, but what really make me happy was that hes finally getting wiser and more sensible le. Jia you bros!!!

I must admit i was realli at a struggle to dispose our photos, first i threw into the basket, next i took out, but finally i knew this has to be done. I cant say much, but i still muz wish her the best, and also be happy with your current boyfriend, may he be able to give you the happiness that i cant give you in time, sometime fate just are beyond our control, still i owe you a apology and also a thank you.

I shall make a promise to myself, i will not write any more entries regarding our past anymore, i will move on and find back happiness that i have been missing for so long till i forget how does it realli feel to be happy and in happiness le.

Cheers and be brave!!